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Welp, it's my birthday, time for a quiet morning. ^^
The humble fox by Weregaruru
The humble fox
So, my sister :iconisrael42: did one of these and suggested that I play with it. I thought i'd play with it a bit and see what sticks.

So I made this lil fella as something to do on the side. I think I made him to be cute and share my eye colors. I think I based it on myself, tbh.

The credit for the "Fox Creator" goes to :icontwai:
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I haven't posted a journal in a while. Man I've been lazy on doing it.

Well, I have just finished the spring quarter for Yakima Valley Community College, and I will be taking the summer quarter off to escape the heat and work on finding myself a job.

The reason I am taking the summer quarter off is because the teachers aren't going to in the college all summer, and they won't have any work lined up for us to earn our credits for our diplomas. Anything there is to do over the summer quarter are practice packets. I'm not going to walk through the smoldering heat to do more practice, so I might as well only leave the premises of my home if its to go do my custodial duties, go shopping, occasion and to go find myself a job at Worksource.

I have another good reason as to why I don't want to be out in the heat as much. When I was young, growing up in Grandview, I would have heat strokes, I can't stand the heat all that well around here. I've been cooped up inside my home for as long as I have lived here because of this awful heat, this feels like the kind of heat where the streets should have combusted into a road of fire, in my opinion.

The only time I could get out more often is during the fall and winter when it's cool enough to walk outside without being baked like a ceramic knick-knack in a matter of seconds.

I do have to go in for advising day at the YVCC to see what classes I will take next, and where the classes will be held. I'll be going in on monday, then I should have the whole quarter to relax and escape the heat.

As for the current situation on finding a job, Worksource had me work at someplace else as part of an assessment to see how I performed. The person I am working with has all the data written up on how I performed and sent to the DVR, now I just wait to see if there will be an appointment, and where to go from there.

I lost one of my relatives several days ago, due to liver cancer. When I heard the news, I got real sick near the end of the spring quarter. Thank the Lord he is with me in my weeping as he is with me in my sorrows, he has seen me through my tests and he has healed me from all this congestion. I was worried I might fail my CASAS test if I was too sick to do the test.

-- Xem's moment time--

(Warning: Rather wordy and emotional. Read at your own leisure and discretion. Please be respectable and mature.)

You know? There was a lot I missed out on what I could learn during my younger years in high school. I was always a class clown, I encouraging myself to be too concerned with keeping up with a social appearance and acting however I wanted, I was paranoid and didn't to behave or mature because I believe that If I did as I thought society wanted me to be, I'd grow up to be like some kind of brainwashed goody two-shoes sailor suit wearing kid with a lollipop. To me, that was something that felt evil to me, and I didn't even want to come close to someone who will only believe what he is told, doing anything he is told even if it was something I was told to do that was immoral and unethical.

I wanted to be able to think and be constantly aware of whats going around me, and be able to act on it if I am willing to do so, and if what I know I was going to do was going to bring a lot of good. Too bad I tried to achieve that the wrong way by being a pain in a butt to my own family and the entire school at that time.

I was lonely too, I didn't want to be too engrossed in the education I was given and forget about the friends I had. At that time I was also going through some emotional trouble, the problem is when I had my mind set on something, I didn't want to stop. I felt if I could fix and problem, I had to keep going with whatever I had my mind set to and keep charging ahead. I didn't realize a lot of the harm I was doing, but I wanted to keep charging, still expecting things to get better, even if I was onto my last leg and everything blew up when I ran through it.

Now that I have had time to think, mature, and an education to teach me a lot of things, I've come to identify myself a lot, and I felt I have only scratched the bottom of the barrel on realizing who I am.

I should feel proud to come this long way on the road to maturity, I still feel it's hard to forgive myself and let go of some of the things I said and did that were in bad taste, and were very immature and destructive. I can't help but sometimes lose touch with reality now and than, having an intrusive thought on how I behaved, or a thought on some of the things I said, and it has made me wince. And these intrusive thoughts were triggered in some way when I was met with anything. I guess I am crazy, huh?

... the best way to describe the way I am now is... chaotic and inconsistent. Sure I am loving, brotherly, crazy in a good way, I am smart and I am way too patient and caring for my own good. I even like to cuddle and to give and receive a lot of love. I love those traits about myself.

... It's just some of the traits I can remember now and then, and the ones that do show up when I am met with someone or something else that I feel I have neglected to I identify and define what that part of me is and why It happens... they can be unsavory, some I'm not sure is really wrong or bad, but can be pessimistic, or can be mistaken for being rude or as having an perspective and an attitude that is a bad thing.

I still have a lot more ways to go, I feel I have failed on that road of maturity, since I'm 26 and I should be 100% adult as a lot of grown people have set as the bar for other people to achieve. I do feel I'm understanding is that some grown-ups aren't 100% mature themselves, and they have to face these characteristics they have, and it's some of these traits that can't be gotten rid of easily and they just need to be refined over time. I picked up a philosophical line
that best describes my understanding about adulthood and maturity, "The sign of a mature man, is that is he is a bit immature". Maybe these things that I am now will grow with me as I finally can be mature and be able to hold my own in the world, some can be gotten rid of, some I may have to live for the rest of my living and breathing days but that I can refine them. I just need to do what I can do, to the best of what I know when I see these problems and they need to be tackle.

I think God has shed wisdom on me in ways I did not think was possible. I have him, and a lot of my friends to thank for being the wise and strong people I needed when I was thirsty for more knowledge, and I ended up with more wisdom than I could fit on a table. Heh.

I think I will end it off here, I am tired, over heated, and I want to put on some emotional tunes, something mellow and a bit sad to go with the mood I am feeling now.

Thank you all, and God bless.

~Xemgoa
So, recently, I discovered that cold drinks and cold food send my tooth into a world of hurt; on the good side, this means that there isn't an infection and I can feel.

I have this tooth with two holes in them, and they send me into agonizing pain. It may not be as important than anything else, it's still something I can't ignore and needs to be addressed. I'm thinking I will have to flatout remove it, no filling or a replacement. I may not be happy with a tooth missing the next time someone gets a look at my smile, but its better then feeling like someone drove a kitchen knife into my gums.
I figured I start off this journal with a mood setter. Play or not to to your content. Also, this is a long wall of text, so I simply ask for your patience since I have a long story to tell.


(And yes, it's a dead give away I still like the MH series.)

So, I just finished winter quarter, taking my CASAS tomorrow, and then advising day starts Tuesday next week and I will have two weeks to take a break from education. I look forward to some R & R. ^^

Over the days, I do feel I have grown wiser and spiritually closer to God then I honestly thought I ever was. I thought for the mistakes I made in my youth just wouldn't be redeemable for the life I have now, but I learned I was ever so wrong. It gives more weight to "God moves in mysterious ways" then it ever does. He provides me with education and has let me be a part of a small group that takes part in our home on tuesdays (sadly our last lesson is tuesday) and It blows my mind how he can deliver a message through someone else, or through a situation. Especially how he can take anything and make it powerful and moving, it's gotten to the point when he does these things and I can identify its his presence, it feels like a broken guitar string goes off in my head; you know, how it kinda crumples up and goes off with a loud "TWANG"?

We did a study on being a "fisher of men" for our small group, and it talks about how it means to fish for men an-- no, not in the literal sense. It happens in the passage of the bible when Jesus walked up to two figures who were on a fishing boat, holding fishing nets (you know who they both are) to leave their current task and come join him. They left their boats and everything and followed him, and through Jesus's guidance and how the event carry out in God's word is how to reach out to others through means that are peaceful, to be concerned for God's people and their health and welfare, to keep them in prayer, to lift them up, to serve God by serving his people. And I learned this is what he wants us to do, to be and grow up like. We may not be perfect at it, but our experience, our personality and our attitude can change when were moved by God, and the amazing things he can do, even if they're so subtle instead of a grand display to wow the daylights out of us.

But I also have become aware how... we just make it complicated, rather than understanding that God made it simple, when he had sent his one and only Son to die on the cross, to pay for our sins, rather then being the gods we think who condemn, chastise and punish to no end even over one mistake. He loves us to no end, to go that far to redeem us from an enemy who will see to any means to condemn us, to die on the cross to pay for our sins.

I come to understand there is just some things we must willingly leave behind, lest they simply make us bitter or tempt us to fall short in our relationship in Christ. But boy... we definitely made it complicated, back then and some who doesn't understand God's Word entirely.

It came down how we had to believe we had to be completely perfect, to never make one mistake ever again, to go to great, miserable length's to repeat past transgressions, or it's a permanent one-way trip to hell. That atheism was the devils tool to wreak havoc, that you had to have the devil (physically) beaten out of you to be saved (it's not pretty), and how we can be so forceful of our belief on other people just turns them away or can cause detrimental things to happen to themselves and the people around them, it definitely wasn't graceful to do the things we did just to "try" and save people, and in some cases try to use our position or God's Word for selfish reasons, like trying to gain control or to extort people.

...But Jesus died for that to pay for every sin, and yes we do have to leave behind anything just... oh I don't know how to put it... if just spiritually destructive... too tempting and always have lead us down something that just does more harm to the people around us, and to us. It wouldn't matter who you are or what you did, Jesus paid the biggest price that I don't have the words for, and he can wait for you to notice him, to talk to him, to invite him. I could be the most grumpy badger for many years and try to distance himself from him if I never met Christ, he would walk with my diligently... and he would wait patiently, I could never believe in me, he still loves me and would patiently wait. I could be the stereotypes of what an atheism or whatever some person is who is portrayed of never seeing any evidence enough to prove he is real or if the risk is worth the reward, he would be waiting patiently, and if he decides he won't give the answer outright, he finds a way to answer some of our questions or change our outlook with what he does to something that is amazing. All he asks is that you invite him, and let him be a part of your life. Let him work and you'll see and experience things from a different or much bigger spectrum.

We are to live our lives like Christ, but we don't need to be forceful, and destructive to get people to believe... God respects our wills to believe or not, and loves us to be patient and walk with us through the lives he is a part of our life, or in waiting to be a part of our life.

Simply being inviting, concerning, helpful, loving, tolerant, and well... being the crutch someone needs when they're down and out, the brother/sister someone could need, and the love someone is willing to give can have a bigger impact, than to shove a bible in their face and demand they 'repent' or harass them with threats. There is a difference between telling a message and making an impact the way Christ did with Kindness, love, mercy and compassion; and just being aggressive, bitter to the point it affects how you interact to people and being generally mean spirited definitely will turn them off (Didn't 'Extra Credits' make a point on this that blind anger, without direction just gets no one anywhere, only this is about being nothing but being angry, bitter, and incredibly mean to people just to make them believe?). Life isn't really about just trying go through life completely perfect or just dive out and end everything before it gets to be too much, but I'd feel like just a preacher preaching to a choir to say we were born to worship God, to worship our Lord and Savior. And to understand that... John 3:16 ""For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. 17"For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.…"?

In the end... we have been there, and because people lives differently (and I might tell this poorly, I admit. I'm half-asleep while typing this) then what we do, does not make them irredeemable, some are just finding the answer to go out on, the path they can't find to discover where they can go, or it can be someone they need to encounter that gives them the right push. Sometimes we can get something we don't expect, but it haves us take a leap and it comes out alright in our relationship in Christ, and we can't just completely chastise them. Were all human, and even us as Christians are human, we can fall short. Jesus didn't die for nothing, and God wants us to bring this good news, this promise he made to us to let it be known to all the people around us, of every nation, of every tongue, heck, even to those who believe in things differently, that they may come to Christ, and that they receive that eternal life.

I'll be honest, as a confession, I'm not perfect, some of the ways I feel make me feel like I am worth as much as salt, that I can't amount to much with my disability... I can be selfish, predictable with bad habits. Heck, despite the fact I am capable in a fight or can be very violent in those extremely rare cases I feel someone is going to harm me... I'm passive and philosophical (contradicts don't it?), I like to figure out things through making a mistake and not leave it a 100% to people stopping me from what I am doing and tell me how to do it 'correctly', I honestly feel I learn and retain what I learn if I can just try, whether I succeed or fail, even if its dangerous. It just turns me off to, if I can make a metaphor, to try my first hand at a sword or weapon, but immediately someone shoves me away and tries to lock the weapon up as tight as possible just cause they don't know who I am or let me try to better understand how to use it before deciding I shouldn't touch it again or if I can be seen as a responsible person to not abuse my privilege to use one. Heck, I'm biased to believe that sometimes you can do some harm just trying to intercept anyone trying their hand at something because you deem its dangerous, and it just leads to more bad consequences, that you sometimes just have to wait and see what they do with something or someone to know what to make of what that person is or what he or she does to come to any conclusion, save for common sense is when someone is showing signs of murderous expressions and intent, you ought to stop them.

But you know what? God has given me strength to over come my disability, and use it to my own benefit (it still just speeds along like a Desktop being overclocked) to do and learn things that would take the normal individual to take longer to understand or do well on their first try. I've become very tolerant and patient to a fault. I am very observant and can often notice some things people normally don't, especially when being able to find the "tells" people give off when they express something, or how their bodily posture is, or the timing is when they do anything to give off that something is wrong without having to say it (I'm not exaggerating, you could shift your hip just subtly and I will notice, or even twitch your ear. This might be why I am excelling in Life Science for my class and in Monster hunter, studying the relationships, interactions and reactions in humans and animals is quite entertaining, especially seeing how a Great Jaggi fights a Quropeco because the Quropeco imitated it's call, and called it to where the Quro was and got it mad. Sneaky bird wyvern, and i know how to fight any monster alone just from examining their tells. Call me Sherlock then.) I'm still pretty strong, but I'm not exactly a buff surfer to be honest ;) Haha! And I believe He has endowed me with a lot of wisdom, ho boy I can't really describe it.

My bottom point is God loves everyone, he doesn't play favorites, he did not come to just stamp us out and make sure we understood that we were mistakes, he loves his creations regardless of who they are. As too simply and easy it is in its own right, he has made it simple. *holds out hand* He wants you to have eternal life with him, to be his child, his creation, forever. With a Father that loves, who is merciful, who is compassionate, who walks with us and is our crutch when we need one, who carried us through it all. He wants you to have it, just come take it. Understand the love he has for you, and be that example when you share it to others. =J

Phew... that's a mouthful. I probably shouldn't of done this before bed time. But I felt I had to get it out there and share the news ^^

Also, if your wondering about the title, yeah. I got a new Monster Hunter Tri for my Wii console. Feels good when your save before the server shut down is still intact and you can roll through monsters with your badass build ^^ It still bites though, I wish they could give us the tools to host our own servers when they decide to shut down theres. I miss playing with players...

...Maybe someday I'll try to make some money to get a Wii U and a copy of Monster hunter U 4 or U 3, as much as I like MH Tri and the swimming mechanic that made it so unique (I seriously don't have trouble with the camera and controls for the water sections), they are removed in later installments due to being too confusing for players... which I don't understand how they can be confusing. It's not that hard, or its just me adapting quickly to them. I guess it's back on land again. ... I wonder if the next MH series will take things to the sky?

Welp, Goodnight, God bless and sweet dreams ^^
I haven't posted a journal in a while. Man I've been lazy on doing it.

Well, I have just finished the spring quarter for Yakima Valley Community College, and I will be taking the summer quarter off to escape the heat and work on finding myself a job.

The reason I am taking the summer quarter off is because the teachers aren't going to in the college all summer, and they won't have any work lined up for us to earn our credits for our diplomas. Anything there is to do over the summer quarter are practice packets. I'm not going to walk through the smoldering heat to do more practice, so I might as well only leave the premises of my home if its to go do my custodial duties, go shopping, occasion and to go find myself a job at Worksource.

I have another good reason as to why I don't want to be out in the heat as much. When I was young, growing up in Grandview, I would have heat strokes, I can't stand the heat all that well around here. I've been cooped up inside my home for as long as I have lived here because of this awful heat, this feels like the kind of heat where the streets should have combusted into a road of fire, in my opinion.

The only time I could get out more often is during the fall and winter when it's cool enough to walk outside without being baked like a ceramic knick-knack in a matter of seconds.

I do have to go in for advising day at the YVCC to see what classes I will take next, and where the classes will be held. I'll be going in on monday, then I should have the whole quarter to relax and escape the heat.

As for the current situation on finding a job, Worksource had me work at someplace else as part of an assessment to see how I performed. The person I am working with has all the data written up on how I performed and sent to the DVR, now I just wait to see if there will be an appointment, and where to go from there.

I lost one of my relatives several days ago, due to liver cancer. When I heard the news, I got real sick near the end of the spring quarter. Thank the Lord he is with me in my weeping as he is with me in my sorrows, he has seen me through my tests and he has healed me from all this congestion. I was worried I might fail my CASAS test if I was too sick to do the test.

-- Xem's moment time--

(Warning: Rather wordy and emotional. Read at your own leisure and discretion. Please be respectable and mature.)

You know? There was a lot I missed out on what I could learn during my younger years in high school. I was always a class clown, I encouraging myself to be too concerned with keeping up with a social appearance and acting however I wanted, I was paranoid and didn't to behave or mature because I believe that If I did as I thought society wanted me to be, I'd grow up to be like some kind of brainwashed goody two-shoes sailor suit wearing kid with a lollipop. To me, that was something that felt evil to me, and I didn't even want to come close to someone who will only believe what he is told, doing anything he is told even if it was something I was told to do that was immoral and unethical.

I wanted to be able to think and be constantly aware of whats going around me, and be able to act on it if I am willing to do so, and if what I know I was going to do was going to bring a lot of good. Too bad I tried to achieve that the wrong way by being a pain in a butt to my own family and the entire school at that time.

I was lonely too, I didn't want to be too engrossed in the education I was given and forget about the friends I had. At that time I was also going through some emotional trouble, the problem is when I had my mind set on something, I didn't want to stop. I felt if I could fix and problem, I had to keep going with whatever I had my mind set to and keep charging ahead. I didn't realize a lot of the harm I was doing, but I wanted to keep charging, still expecting things to get better, even if I was onto my last leg and everything blew up when I ran through it.

Now that I have had time to think, mature, and an education to teach me a lot of things, I've come to identify myself a lot, and I felt I have only scratched the bottom of the barrel on realizing who I am.

I should feel proud to come this long way on the road to maturity, I still feel it's hard to forgive myself and let go of some of the things I said and did that were in bad taste, and were very immature and destructive. I can't help but sometimes lose touch with reality now and than, having an intrusive thought on how I behaved, or a thought on some of the things I said, and it has made me wince. And these intrusive thoughts were triggered in some way when I was met with anything. I guess I am crazy, huh?

... the best way to describe the way I am now is... chaotic and inconsistent. Sure I am loving, brotherly, crazy in a good way, I am smart and I am way too patient and caring for my own good. I even like to cuddle and to give and receive a lot of love. I love those traits about myself.

... It's just some of the traits I can remember now and then, and the ones that do show up when I am met with someone or something else that I feel I have neglected to I identify and define what that part of me is and why It happens... they can be unsavory, some I'm not sure is really wrong or bad, but can be pessimistic, or can be mistaken for being rude or as having an perspective and an attitude that is a bad thing.

I still have a lot more ways to go, I feel I have failed on that road of maturity, since I'm 26 and I should be 100% adult as a lot of grown people have set as the bar for other people to achieve. I do feel I'm understanding is that some grown-ups aren't 100% mature themselves, and they have to face these characteristics they have, and it's some of these traits that can't be gotten rid of easily and they just need to be refined over time. I picked up a philosophical line
that best describes my understanding about adulthood and maturity, "The sign of a mature man, is that is he is a bit immature". Maybe these things that I am now will grow with me as I finally can be mature and be able to hold my own in the world, some can be gotten rid of, some I may have to live for the rest of my living and breathing days but that I can refine them. I just need to do what I can do, to the best of what I know when I see these problems and they need to be tackle.

I think God has shed wisdom on me in ways I did not think was possible. I have him, and a lot of my friends to thank for being the wise and strong people I needed when I was thirsty for more knowledge, and I ended up with more wisdom than I could fit on a table. Heh.

I think I will end it off here, I am tired, over heated, and I want to put on some emotional tunes, something mellow and a bit sad to go with the mood I am feeling now.

Thank you all, and God bless.

~Xemgoa

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:iconshotgunraine27:
ShotgunRaine27 Featured By Owner 3 days ago
Thank you for faving. I'm glad you liked my deviljho.
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:iconweregaruru:
Weregaruru Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome ^^
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:iconaudricathis:
Audricathis Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2015  New Deviant Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fave!:star:
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Weregaruru Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome.
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Pact-Comics Featured By Owner May 7, 2015  Professional General Artist
Thank you very much for the fave! :icongabumonplz:
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:iconweregaruru:
Weregaruru Featured By Owner May 7, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
You're both welcome! ^^
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:iconenterrest:
enterrest Featured By Owner May 7, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you for faving me.  I'm glad you like the cartoons.
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:iconweregaruru:
Weregaruru Featured By Owner May 7, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
You're both welcome! ^^
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:iconsupersonicus:
Supersonicus Featured By Owner May 1, 2015
Thanks for the fav dude, glad you like the MH Pokémon mock up ;)
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:iconweregaruru:
Weregaruru Featured By Owner May 1, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Heh, as an old Gen 1 and Gen 2 trainer, and a lover of the Monster Hunter series, I couldn't resist! The menu is even nicely done, I really like the idea for detail.

(though as much as I'd like to see this kinda thing happen, with Pok'emon going completely feral like this being a totally dark twist from the usual pok'emon universe of cooperating with them, I feel a lot of hate or conflict could be generated from it existing xD )

Nice work, man!
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:iconsupersonicus:
Supersonicus Featured By Owner May 1, 2015
Hehe, thanks. Lucky I suppose for those people is that I've been working on MH Pokemon sprites so they wont have to go out and slay a Pikachu XD although that would be as funny as heck in a dark way. Also nice poetry, man.  The Romantic sea was quite lovely. ;)
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:iconweregaruru:
Weregaruru Featured By Owner May 1, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
There's always something to get a laugh out of, as long as we all don't go too far ;) And just consider other people when we do it.

And thank you! Take care!
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:icondoeray-g:
Doeray-G Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2015  Professional Traditional Artist
thank you. she's gone now
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:iconweregaruru:
Weregaruru Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
... -holds tight- :< ... I-i'm ... really sorry. I ... will be praying for comfort for you.
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:icondoeray-g:
Doeray-G Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2015  Professional Traditional Artist
thank u
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:iconweregaruru:
Weregaruru Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome, Sis.
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dragonslayer171 Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the +fav :D (Big Grin) 
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Weregaruru Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
You are welcome ^^
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BornToDoStuff Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ohey Xemmy! Danke for the faves :)
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:iconweregaruru:
Weregaruru Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome, Bornography ^^

Also, howdy!
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Dream-Angel-Artista Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2015  Professional Artisan Crafter
Tight Hug Angel Emoticon Thank you soo much for all sweet susport and favs!
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Weregaruru Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome, my lovely Sis. God bless ^^
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Lust0fADeeperPain Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2015
Jesus Loves You by dreamsofwords  Thank you so much for the fave much appreciated :huggle:
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Weregaruru Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome ^^
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Doeray-G Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2015  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks for adding "survivors" to your faves
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